may/june bucket list update

It's been awhile since I've given an update on my yearly bucket list.  Things aren't going so well with this list.  I've accepted that and am okay with just doing the best I can.  Enjoy!

My 2014 Bucket List:

Establish an 8:00-4:30 workday… January and ongoing…

I've decided to amend this goal a little bit... Starting in August I will just be focused on getting to work on time and not necessarily early every day.  I have found that I am not all that productive in the morning before class starts anyway.  Thankfully I don't have to think about this for another month.

Compile addresses into an address book… February

Did it!

Complete a 7-day cleanse… March June/July

I kind of did this.  I completed the Dr. Oz 3 Day Detox in June.  It was awful.  I edited the recipes a little bit... I was not about to drink a smoothie with cucumber in it.  I have never missed chewing food so much.  I craved pasta and all sorts of bad things throughout the detox - and went right back to my old habits... so... I did it... but not well.  :)

Do a 30-Day Plank Challenge…  April May September

I still want to do this... I did restart in May and then forgot that I restarted.  So, I'm going to try again in September!

Organize and Deep CLEAN home… June July/August

Pshhh... Did not happen in June.  Hopefully some progress will happen before I head back to school.

Complete all started and purchased for crafts… July

Go to Pilates at least three times per week…

This one is going okay... I'm just doing my best to make it there when I can.

Have three designated “quiet times” per week…

I am in a summer Bible study that is really encouraging this.  I have 5 days of "homework" each week!

Create and update a monthly budget…

Maybe next year...

PAY OFF DEBT… (30-40K goal)

All credit card debt is paid off (around 20K).  I am feeling great about this, and know that the rest will come in due time.  

Christmas presents bought and cards sent by 12/1/14… November

Blog twice per month…

I think this happened in May... definitely not in June.

There it is, friends.  Life is far from perfect, and I'm learning how to give myself grace.  And that is the most important thing.

to the barista at starbucks...

To the barista at Starbucks:

Thank you.  Your act of kindness yesterday touched me more than you know.  What a pleasant surprise to have you "take care" of my drink because you said I am always "so nice."  (Even though the fact that you can recognize me in the drive thru might point out that I need to work on my Starbucks habit.)

What you couldn't see in the few seconds I looked at you really funny and began exclaiming, "Oh my gosh! Thank you so much! You just made my day!" were the tears that nearly sprung up behind my sunglasses and the fact that you really did make my entire day.  Maybe even week.

For a lot of different reasons, life has been really difficult lately. Being "consistently nice" - another phrase you used - isn't a trait that I feel I often display, let alone hear from someone else.  Self esteem can be a huge struggle for me, yet you took the time to point out something in me that was of value to you.

Thank you.

Thank you for the reminder that we never know what someone else is going through, so we should always be kind.  Thank you for encouraging me on a manic Monday morning. Thank you for lifting me up when I was feeling down.

And most of all thank you for the delicious Cinnamon Dolce Latte and the smile it brought to my face.

SJ

march-april bucket list update

Greetings, friends.

My oh my... life has been a little wild, and my bucket list has suffered.  Nevertheless, I think it's waaaay past time for an update - however bleak it may be.

 My 2014 Bucket List:

1. Establish an 8:00-4:30 workday… January and ongoing…

This hasn't been terrible - or I am just fooling myself.  I don't always make it there at 8:00 and I don't always leave at 4:30; however, in the past couple of weeks I've been more on-top of work and have been bringing less home overall.  I have gotten to the place of thinking before I leave, am I really going to work on this tonight?  If the answer is "no," I leave it at work.  So although it's not technically part of the bucket list - I am calling that a success!

2. Compile addresses into an address book… February

Did it! 

3. Complete a 7-day cleanse… March June/July

This just did not happen.  I wanted to do this cleanse over Spring Break... but our Spring Break was cut short to make up snow days and I ended up spending part of the week at my parents' house eating steak.  Still want to do this, but want to make sure I can devote the time, energy and preparation that this will take.  It may end up being only a 3 day detox... and that would be okay with me.

4. Do a 30-Day Plank Challenge… April May

I did start this one on April 1st - no joke!  And then I got a nasty cold that would. not. go. away.  It's hard to plank when you cannot breathe.  I will restart this one... TODAY!

5. Plan one date per month… 

I did plan a "date" in March!  David and I drove up to Saint Louis one afternoon to meet his mom and sister for dinner while they were in town.  It was fun!  

6. Organize and Deep CLEAN home… June 

I've been "pinning" a lot of ideas for this one... I am officially done with the school year on June 12th, so I am hoping I can utilize the remainder of the month for the Deep CLEAN.  If I need to stretch it into July, that will be okay too.

7. Complete all started and purchased for crafts… July

8. Go to Pilates at least three times per week…

And this one is a bust.  In addition to the nasty cold that would. not. go. away, I had quite the unfortunate kitchen accident in early March.  I ended up cutting my wrist with the handle of a ceramic mug and wasn't able to go to Pilates for a few weeks.  I'm back in the game now and it feels awful awesome.

9. Have three designated “quiet times” per week… 

This is actually going pretty well at the moment - it certainly hasn't been perfect by any means, but I have been making more time lately.

10. Create and update a monthly budget…

Bust.  I don't even know.

11. PAY OFF DEBT… (30-40K goal)

We paid off an additional $700ish in the month of April.  Unfortunately we found out some not-so-great-news regarding insurance, but with our income tax returns, all credit card debt should be paid off at least by the start of June, which is HUGE!

12. Christmas presents bought and cards sent by 12/1/14… November

13. Blog twice per month…

Obviously a fail.

Have a wonderful day, friends.  Enjoy this beautiful weather we have been blessed with the past couple of days!

neat moments

This is a tough time of the year to be a teacher. Sure we've had snow days and Spring Break is just around the corner, but we are entering testing season which marks the beginning of end of the school year.  It feels like we are all losing steam - kids and teachers alike, and it's hard to appreciate the really sweet moments when you are reprimanding students for telling their friends to "shut up" for the 18th time in class. The end is in sight, but it will be a crazy ride before we reach our final destination.

I don't spend enough time talking about the sweet moments I share with my students. Unfortunately, I too often allow the bad to overshadow the good. And there is a lot of good... Like today.

I have a particular student who is a little different than most of my other kids. He has an adult personality and doesn't always get along with others. His clothes don't fit well and he is terribly unorganized. He is often the victim of bullying, but doesn't take anything from anyone. He beats to his very own drum. Until this year I had in idea I had a hole in my heart that only this child and all of his quirks could fill.

I usually have him sit by himself. It's always felt like the "best solution" to ease the tension between his personality and the other kids.

Today was different.

I had a student ask me privately if she could go sit by him. She said she just wanted to. I said yes as long as she asked and he said it was okay. She knew it would be, and she was right.

What unfolded over the next hour and fifteen minutes was almost magical.

They worked on their notes together. They visited. (Almost toooo much at times, but I couldn't find it in me to discourage it.) They were the best of shoulder partners.

And he had one of the most genuine smiles I have ever seen etched across his face. His day was made. He had been chosen.

I called her up at the end of class to tell her what I'd seen. A smile. A day made. She said that just yesterday another girl had been picking on him. She stood up to her and got called some pretty mean names but didn't care a bit. She just knew that she was supposed to sit next to him today.

It was brave and bold and made this teacher so proud.

I saw Jesus in a fifteen year old girl today. She accepted and she loved without fear of persecution from her peers.

She made a difference.

As a teacher, this is hands down the neatest, sweetest moment I have been privileged to witness, and I can't wait for more.

february bucket list update

If I had to pick two words to describe February 2014, I would use fatigued and failure. "Fatigued," because I have literally been exhausted and stretched to my max the entire month, and "failure," because my bucket list was a bust in February! I must say, I am a little excited that the horrendous weather we are having today has forced me to stay inside and rest... Without guilt. And although another snow day means we will now be in school until the 4th of July, I am excited for another "forced" day of rest tomorrow too.

I hope this update finds you well, friends!

My 2014 Bucket List:  Update #2

1.     Establish an 8:00-4:30 workday… January and ongoing…

Yikes... This one was a little rotten. Like more than a little rotten. I DO make it to work to privately tutor at 7:30 on Wednesday mornings, and I DO tutor my students until 5:00 on the same evening... But that does not make up for the number of days I arrived at 8:30 (or even later...) For the record I am supposed to be at school by 8:25, so technically if I make it by then, I'm doing okay... But still not completing my goal.

2.     Compile addresses into an address book… February

Done! In fact I didn't like any if the address books at Target, so I bought a cute little notebook and made my own. I just stuck a cute little chalkboard label on it a few moments ago (on March 2nd) but the majority of the book was done in February.

3.     Complete a 7-day cleanse… March

This will have to be amended for March. I'm not 100% sure how yet, but in order to make up snow days, two days were taken out of spring break, which was when I was planning to cleanse. I may do a green smoothie challenge toward the end of the month and detox once on summer break. Any/all suggestions are welcome on this one!

4.     Do a 30-Day Plank Challenge… April

5.     Plan one date per month…

Did it! Kind of. The February date I planned was actually last night, March 1st. We went to see a great play at Theatre Squared in Fayetteville. It was called "Good People." We both really enjoyed it, plus, I was able to order a 30 under 30 ticket for $10! We decided that we need to capitalize on cheap tickets for Sarah in the next 2 years!

6.     Organize and Deep CLEAN home… June

7.     Complete all started and purchased for crafts… July

8.     Go to Pilates at least three times per week…

This went about the same as it did in January. I'm going about twice a week right now, and would like to step it back up in March. Especially before I take the plank challenge in April! 

9.     Have three designated “quiet times” per week…

 I don't even want to talk about it. Any/all suggestions are welcome here too. This is seriously one of my biggest struggles. On the positive side, I did spend time in prayer (writing in my prayer journal), and truly believe I heard from God. He is teaching me a lot about obedience and patience.

10. Create and update a monthly budget…

Annnnnnnd.... Suggestions welcome. I may have to ask David to be the captain of this ship.

11. PAY OFF DEBT… (30-40K goal)

No major debt payoff to report. Hopefully there will be something good to report soon!

12. Christmas presents bought and cards sent by 12/1/14… November

13. Blog twice per month…

This did not happen in February either. I thought about it several times... But never got around to it. :(

  I will repeat what I said at the end of my last update:  I do enjoy this reflection time. I know that I can accomplish these goals, it's just a matter of doing them. I am currently having conversations with a student who has now missed two tests and has also neglected to do most of his homework for the semester about needing to turn things around if he wants to pass my class. His response has been, "I will try to do better." I keep replying, "It's not about trying, it's about doing." I need to give myself the same pep talk for March and just get out there and kick my bucket list's booty!

2014 bucket list... rejects... and update...

My friend Kelsie is an amazing woman.  Last year she decided to create a 2013 Bucket List of things she wanted to accomplish, instead of creating lofty and unattainable resolutions.  I tried to emulate her list, but was still in the resolution mindset and failed miserably.  As a part of her 2013 Bucket List she created myyearlybucketlist.com and wrote an e-book describing the differences between yearly bucket lists and resolutions.  Like I said before... she is an amazing woman.

Last October she popped a big question.  She asked me if I'd like to be a part of myyearlybucketlist.com for 2014.  Of course I said yes!  After my 2013 goals were a bust, I needed some accountability.  You can check out my full 2014 Bucket List here, but for now I will give you a quick recap:

My 2014 Bucket List:

1.     Establish an 8:00-4:30 workday… January and ongoing…

2.     Compile addresses into an address book… February 

3.     Complete a 7-day cleanse… March 

4.     Do a 30-Day Plank Challenge… April 

5.     Plan one date per month… 

6.     Organize and Deep CLEAN home… June 

7.     Complete all started and purchased for crafts… July 

8.     Go to Pilates at least three times per week… 

9.     Have three designated “quiet times” per week… 

10. Create and update a monthly budget… 

11. PAY OFF DEBT… (30-40K goal) 

12. Christmas presents bought and cards sent by 12/1/14… November 

13. Blog twice per month...

      Of course some items didn't make the cut.  Part of creating bucket lists instead of resolutions is to pick goals that are attainable.  I'd love to be June Cleaver and Betty Crocker all rolled into one, but this is not a reality for me right now.  

2014 Bucket List Rejects:

      Cook/Eat at Home at least 3 times per week... our schedule right now is just too crazy for this to work, unfortunately.  I would still like to cook/eat at home as often as possible, but refuse to beat myself up if some weeks the best I can do is the Chik-fil-A drive thru.

      Grow my own fruits and veggies in a container garden... this was on last year's list, and it didn't happen.  It's something I would still love to do, and maybe it will happen this year, but maybe it won't.  If it does, it will be a bonus.  And considering last year I single-handedly killed 42 impatients, gardening might not be my "thing."

     Chop my locks... and donate them.  I've done this before, and will most likely do it again, but didn't want to feel pressured to make it happen during a certain month/year.  The length of my hair is starting

     to drive me absolutely crazy, so I know it's coming... I'm just not sure when. :)

    So now for the first Bucket List update... January didn't go as well as I'd hoped, but it gives me something to strive toward in February.

My 2014 Bucket List:  Update #1

1.     Establish an 8:00-4:30 workday… January and ongoing…

Some days I was great at this... others not-so-much.  I will say that I made it to school by 8:00 more times than I probably would have otherwise, but not every day.  Since this is an ongoing goal, I don't feel defeated just yet.  I just need to make the most of February!

2.     Compile addresses into an address book… February

3.     Complete a 7-day cleanse… March

4.     Do a 30-Day Plank Challenge… April

5.     Plan one date per month…

Failed in January.  David planned all of our outings for the month.  Perhaps I could plan something really special for February!

6.     Organize and Deep CLEAN home… June

7.     Complete all started and purchased for crafts… July

8.     Go to Pilates at least three times per week…

This goal was *mostly* achieved in January!  I didn't go to Pilates the week that I had the stomach bug from you-know-where... so I'm giving myself a pass on that one.  But for the most part, I'm making it there!!

9.     Have three designated “quiet times” per week…

 This is a big ole FAIL right now.  I have realized I am at the point where, sadly, I need to schedule this in on my to-do list - just like going to Pilates.  I hate to admit that, and hopefully one day it will come as naturally as breathing.  Excited to get back to you on this one soon.

10. Create and update a monthly budget…

Budget created for January... not sure how well we stuck to it though... and we're two days into February, and I haven't even looked at our bills.  Not calling it a bust yet - I still have time to figure this one out! 

11. PAY OFF DEBT… (30-40K goal)

 This one is going well!  David and I are blessed, that's all I will say.  We are a little more than 10K down.

12. Christmas presents bought and cards sent by 12/1/14… November

13. Blog twice per month…

Yep... failed in January.  But if I do three in February that will make up for it, right?

      I am excited that blogging this morning has given me time to reflect on where I stand with each of my bucket list items.  While January didn't exactly go as I'd hoped, I am giving myself grace.  I'm not perfect and life isn't perfect, and sometimes things don't happen just how we want them to.  But I'm not giving up!  I've got an address book to find!!  (Might be a nice snow day project!)

     Until next time, friends...

perfectly imperfect

Friends, it has been a long time.  And that is okay.  I can say that I have done a lot of growing in my absence, and am excited to share my latest "ah-ha" moment with you.

It's funny how God speaks.  Through the weirdest things and in His own quirky timing.  And in that timing it seems so absurd that He has chosen to speak, but I know that's the exact moment when my heart is ready to hear it.  And wouldn't you know it was while I was vacuuming.  My used-to-be least favorite chore... until I got a Dyson.  Now it's one of my favorite household chores, because I can see the dirt coming out of my carpet.  That's where it began.

Our carpet is SO hairy.  (Hence, the Dyson.)  Don't get me wrong.  I love, love, LOVE my precious pup, but my goodness does he make a mess.  And not just hair.  Lately he has learned to open the cabinet where we keep the trash.  Yogurt and cookie crumbs and taco seasoning packets are now among the things he adds to the carpet to keep his hair company.

And so it began... the negative self-talk.  "This house is a mess.  How do you let it get this way?  Why can't you keep up with it?  Can you shave the dog?  He needs a bath.  This is gross."  And while I was at it, even uglier thoughts started to creep in.  "Why can't you just get it together?  You have so many things to do on your list.  Why can't you be more like this friend or that person... they have it all together."

And then it stopped.

I don't know how He does it.  But He turned my thoughts into self-reflection instead of self-abuse.

You see... I'm a perfectionist.  I come from a long line of perfectionists.  Except there's a problem.  I'm not perfect.  I am far from perfect.  And in my need and my desire to be perfect... to be more organized, have a cleaner home, have a well-behaved dog, cook a million meals a week, be the most loving spouse, and on and on and on, I lose myself.  I become overwhelmed.  I can't manage it.

Perfectionism is my addiction.  Perfectionism is my dis-ease.

I was able to manage and control this perfectionism of mine when my roles were limited... student, daughter, friend.  I could easily make good grades to please teachers and parents.  Making wise decisions and being a loyal friend were also easy enough.

But then - all in a short span of time - I took on different roles:  wife, homeowner, worker.  It's been four years and I still haven't been able to figure out how to make all "A's" in these roles, like I could in my student role.  I haven't been able to manage my perfectionism.

Somewhere along the way I took my parents encouragement to, "Do your best," into my own mantra of, "Be the best, and only then will you be happy."

It's crazy.  And it has got to stop.

The good news is that it can.  Through Christ, I am seen as perfect in God's eyes.  My need to be perfect is to please an imperfect world.

This year I am going to go back to "doing my best," instead of trying to "be the best."  Somedays my best might not be as good as other days.  And that's okay.

I wanted to close this post with some very imperfect "secrets" I try to hide, knowing that by bringing them to light they can no longer hold power over me... and maybe they will give someone else a laugh.

• As mentioned, my house is hairy.  And chances are if you come over, I have just vacuumed and made sure the couch was acceptable to sit on.  I don't like admitting it, but it's the truth.  And I rarely mop the floors.

• Half the time, my house isn't even picked up.  If you were to walk in right now, you would see one magnificent kitchen mess and a load of laundry on the couch.

• Speaking of laundry... I rarely put my clean clothes away.  When I do, it's usually from my husband's prompting.

• In the past few months I have gained some weight and my pants don't fit.  I'm struggling to like my body.

• I like to start a lot of projects... but they often don't get finished.  

• I don't make enough time to cook healthy meals for my family... and so Chik-fil-A it is for the 4th time this week.

• I hate brushing my teeth, and so sometimes I cheat and just don't.

• I ignored most of the mail for about three and a half years... and it only got sorted out when my dad took it home as a project.

• It also took me that long to organize the room designated as the "office" in our house... mostly due to the mail situation.

I am only perfect in my imperfections.